hey, I’m a highschool freshman. I’m black. I’m known for being kind of clumsy but funny to my friends. But i can also be very awkward. In my reality, there are the "friends" then there are the "acquaintances." The friends are the people you go out of your way to talk to. You tell them more about yourself, and tell jokes and what not. My "friends" aren’t exactly good for me. even though I’m clumsy and dorky I am very sensitive. I haven’t been to psychiatrist, but if I had a mental disorder it would be paranoid personality disorder. Pretty much means I have a harsh time trusting people. My brother is very popular and when I talk to him about it, he gets annoyed. I only have like 1 friend that truly understands it, and I’m barely with her. I don’t tell the other friends because I don’t want them to stress, like my brother.
then there are the acquaintances. These are people that you don’t go out of your way to talk to, yet you’re cool with. if you’re put together with them, you’ll have fun with them. they know you and you know them.
I have way too many acquaintances but little friends </3
I generally try to stay away from disliked people. I’m friends with some that are popular, and others who are in the middle. I could be so popular, but I just can’t talk to girls… or popular girls, primarily. I can be real funny to girls if I’m paired up with them, maybe for some quick work. but I can’t just suddenly go up to them, or anyone. You gotta gain my trust first, then I’ll stop being awkward.
so my friends today, we ate lunch then went on the school patio. They kept on forcing me to go up to girls. some that were barely "acquaintances" and some that my paranoia discouraged me from going up to. even 1 who I use to have a crush on. I kept on saying no. then they wouldn’t let me sit on the bench with them until I did so. I just said "I’m different, I’m not confident like you all, I barely talk to these people, why should I talk now?" and seriously, why should I? I bet that my "friends" didn’t make friends with other people by being forced to randomly go up to them. I usually make my friends by just being paired with them and chatting. By the end of lunch, one said that they didn’t mean it, they just wanted to help me. the other barely said anything, other than he wanted to help me. but I’m just not like them…
So just, how do I talk to girls so this never happens again?
